*Disclaimer: I am not an author, I have no intentions of ever publishing this story other than here on my blog and at some point, I may remove it from my blog.
Before I share the most recent addition to the short story that I am writing, I am going to explain what Story Time is to my recent followers. One weekend I was looking through all my old school things and came across a story that I had written when I was eight years old and in second grade. I decided that I wanted to re-write it. The most recent addition to the re-write will always be at the bottom.
This is the original story:
Once upon a time, there was a haunted house and 10 doors and 10 steps in the first door there was a werewolf. In the second door, there was a mummy. In the third door, Dracula popped out. In the fourth door, bats flew out. In the fifth door, there were ghosts that popped out and said “BOO.” In the sixth door, there was an alien with six eyes. In the seventh door, there was a goblin. In the eighth door, there was a witch and she popped out. In the ninth door, there was a skeleton. In the tenth door, a friendly zombie popped out.
This is the rewrite:
Once upon a time, in a deep, dark wood, at the top of a hill, there stood a house. The house was aptly named Hilltop House. The house was very old, and it was impossible to see what color it is because of all the vines that have overtaken it. And because of all the vines, all that could be seen was only portions of the windows, there was enough window showing that you could see in, but just barely. Now, don’t go thinking the house wasn’t in a town because it was. The house was in a town called Fallhaven.
Fallhaven was home to 25 known people, it is rumored that non-human folk lives in Hilltop House. Fallhaven had your typical town folk. It had a Mayor, Elias and his wife Eliana, two policemen, Brutus, who was the chief and Connor, there was May, the librarian, Malva the schoolteacher, Quincy, the park manager, Clara, the town clerk, who handled business for the town folk, Raymond, the mailman, Jonny, the store clerk, and Whitman, the gas station man
FiFi Whitmire, a seven-year-old with brown skin, claimed to have seen something strange going on in Hilltop House. FiFi lived with her mother Dorothy, her father, Edgar and her two twin brothers Jacob and Bobby who were 9. Hilltop House could be seen from the third-floor reading nook of the Whitmire house. The Whitmire’s neighbor Margo had two grandchildren, Molly and Edward who FiFi, Bobby, and Jacob played with often. The children would always seem to venture to Hilltop House, though they never dared to go in. It was during these ventures that FiFi would notice the strange things happening. The other children never saw anything, and when FiFi would mention the things that she was seeing, they all seemed to scoff and tell her “it’s all in your head.” FiFi knew that it wasn’t all in her head.
When it was time for the children to go home, which was when the street lights got turned on, FiFi didn’t go home. FiFi went to see Addie for some tea and cookies, the other neighbor of the Whitmire’s, she also had brown skin like the Whitmire’s. Addie was 25 and like an older sister to FiFi. FiFi said to Addie, “I’ve seen strange things happening at Hilltop House, and the other’s think I’m ridiculous.” Addie told her, “You’re not ridiculous, I’ve seen strange things too.” This was reassuring to FiFi, as she wasn’t the only one who thought something strange was going on. It was getting late, and Addie said to FiFi, “I’ll walk you home, and we can tell your parents what has been going on.” “Okay,” FiFi said.
When Addie and FiFi got back to the Whitmire residence, Fifi said to her mother and father, “I have seen strange things going on at Hilltop House, Addie has too.” “Is this true?” asked Dorothy. FiFi and Addie both said at the, “yes, it is true.” Dorothy and Edgar looked very puzzled.
Edgar and Dorothy thought about what to do before Edgar had to go to work. They decided that it would be best to keep what FiFi and Addie told them a secret for the time being. This was decided when the children were at school. It was also decided that the children could still play around Hilltop House. When the children got home from school, Dorothy Asked, “What did you learn today?” FiFi answered, “ Malva taught us some simple multiplication and she also told us a story about how Hilltop House is haunted.”
To be continued…
Bobby, Jacob, Molly, and Edward all said “Hilltop House is not haunted,” Dorothy looked at them with a very puzzled look on her face. She could not wait until Edgar got home to tell him what his sons and friends had said. Edgar works at the little town market in town helping out Jonny for a few hours on the days that Dorothy isn’t working at the library along with May. Someone is always home with the children.
When Edgar arrived home, Dorothy told him what the kids had learned at school and then said to him, “Malva told the children a story that Hilltop House is haunted.” Edgar asked what the children said. Dorothy said to him, “FiFi told me about school, Bobby, Jacob, Molly and Edward said, “Hilltop House is not haunted.”” Edgar remembered what FiFi and Addie had told him about seeing strange things.
Edgar decided that it was time to tell others in the town what FiFi and Addie told him and Dorothy, and he said to Dorothy, “I want to tell others about what FiFi and Addie said about Hilltop House,” Dorothy said, “I’ll have to think about it, it is still a somewhat touchy subject, seeing as the other kids have called FiFi ridiculous.” Edgar agreed that they would wait a while before they told others, they also came to the conclusion that they would have to talk to the other kids about not calling FiFi crazy anymore.
The next day, which was a Tuesday Edgar and Dorothy sat FiFi, the twins, Molly and Edward down after they all got home from school. Dorothy and Edgar decided to take the day off from work to discuss the best way to approach the children about the situation. Dorothy and Edgar said to the twins, Molly and Edward “you need to stop saying that FiFi is ridiculous, and telling her that it’s all in her head. FiFi isn’t the only one who has seen strange things going on at Hilltop House.” The twins, Molly and Edward looked at Edgar and Dorothy and said in unison, “what?!” Dorothy and Edgar replied, “yup, there is someone else who has seen the same strange things that FiFi has seen, our neighbor, Addie.” The kids, excluding FiFi, all looked confused. They all apologized to FiFi saying, “we’re sorry, and we won’t call you ridiculous again, but how come only you and Addie can see strange things?” FiFi said, “I don’t know, maybe there are others in town, or maybe Addie and I have some special magical abilities that we don’t know about.”
Wednesday at school, after avoiding her for a while, FiFi decided to tell June, her best friend what was going on. June had brown skin just like the Whitman’s and Addie. June said, “I’ve actually seen strange things going on around Hilltop House too, you and Addie aren’t the only ones.” This made FiFi feel a little better about the whole thing. FiFi started thinking if she, Addie and June were the only ones, or if there were others. FiFi got home from school and both Dorothy and Edgar were home, she said to them “I want to tell the townspeople what has been going on. I told June today and she told me that she has seen things too. I want to know if there are others.” Dorothy and Edgar looked at their daughter and took in what she said. They’ve been thinking about telling the other townspeople for a while but were waiting for the right time. FiFi’s words when she got home from school, that she wanted to tell the townspeople, they knew that it was the right time. Before the townspeople were told, Dorothy and Edgar had to decide when they were going to have Elias and Eliana over for dinner to let them know what FiFi had told them and what she wanted to do. Dorothy said to Edgar, “It appears that FiFi is wise beyond her years, and I think she should tell the townspeople and not us.”
Dorothy called Elias, the mayor and invited him and his wife Eliana over for dinner Friday night, and of course, they accepted. She didn’t tell him or Eliana why, though. Dorothy said to FiFi “Elias and Eliana are coming over for dinner Friday night, and I know you want to tell the townspeople what has been going on.” FiFi had an excited look on her face, yet she was still a little apprehensive.
A few days had passed and it was finally Friday night. The Mayor and his wife had arrived at the Whitmire’s house waiting to hear FiFi’s story. Although, it wasn’t really a story it was more of something that FiFi has been experiencing.
Dorothy, Edgar, and FiFi heard a knock on the door, and FiFi went to welcome Elias and Eliana with a warm, but nervous smile and brought showed them to the living room. Jacob and Bobby were at Margo’s house playing with Molly and Edward just for dinner time. Dorothy and Edgar didn’t want Jacob and Bobby interrupting FiFi while she was telling the Mayor and his wife about what she has been experiencing. While in the living room, Elias said to FiFi “what is it that you would like to tell Eliana and me? We will not judge you.” At first, FiFi was nervous, but then she realized that Elias and Eliana could find a solution to what had been going on. FiFi replied, “well, whenever I’m playing up by Hilltop House I can see strange things going on in the windows, and I always want to investigate more. My brothers and some of my friends have said I’m being ridiculous, but I’m not the only one who has seen strange things.”
Elias looked at FiFi and said to her, “I’m very proud of you for telling us this, I know it wasn’t the easiest thing to do. I also know that the grounds around Hilltop House are a very popular place for you and your friends to play because of all the space to run around. I don’t think you or anybody else is in danger by continuing to play there. At this very excitedly FiFi replied, “It makes me happy that I can still play there, not only do I love the amount of space, but I really love the mystery surrounding the House. I’ve been tempted on more than one occasion to go inside the house.”
This frightened Elias a bit because the strange things at Hilltop have yet to be discovered. His main concern of the town is keeping it safe from whatever may possibly be lurking in the house. Elias said to Eliana, FiFi, Dorothy, and Edgar, “I think we should have a special town meeting, and I would love it if FiFi gathered the others who have seen the strange things too and possibly tell the townspeople what they have seen and experienced.” FiFi replied nervously, “I don’t want the townspeople to call me ridiculous like my brothers and our friends did. I don’t know if the townspeople will listen to me, I’m only seven.”
Elias understood why FiFi was nervous about speaking in front of the townspeople and said to her, “you have nothing to worry about, I think people will be more likely to listen to you because of your age. I am also hoping that a few more people will say that they have seen strange things too.” FiFi felt more reassured after Elias had told her this, she even asked, “Mr. Mayor sir, if more people come forward, can I go explore the area more and go inside the house? I would knock on the front door first.” Elias knew that she was very curious about the house and the possible inhabitants and he said to her, “I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t go inside the house.” FiFi was very excited about this and thanked Elias for allowing her to explore Hilltop House. After the dinner with Elias and Eliana, It was decided that FiFi would tell people what was going on at the next town meeting, which was always held on Tuesday nights.
The whole weekend and even Monday after school, FiFi prepared what she was going to say to the townspeople at the town meeting. She was no longer as nervous as she had been. Tuesday came and Malva decided not to give the students any homework as she wanted them to go to town meeting. Malva said to them, “even though you are young children, it is important that you learn things about the town, as you guys are the future of it. The things that are discussed at town meeting affect you guys too.” There were all kinds of hootin and hollerin from the kids, as they were very excited to not have any homework. The kids were also excited because Malva said to them, “after recess you can all go home.”
The children got home from school and had a good snack before they had to go to town meeting. This was the first town meeting that they were able to go to, they were both curious and excited.
The Whitmire’s arrived at the library, as Fallhaven was a small town, all Town Meetings were held at the library. There was a table at the front of the conference room with seats for Elias, Jonny, Connor, FiFi, Addie, and June. Elias said to FiFi, “just tell the townspeople what you told me and everything will be fine.” FiFi said to him, “I’ll be fine!” Although FiFi was nervous, she had her best friend sitting next to her, and Addie who was like an older sister to her there too, so it calmed her nerves a bit. Elias introduced FiFi, Addie, and June and said to the townspeople, “please listen to FiFi, Addie, and June.”
FiFi spoke first and said, “when playing around Hilltop House I often see strange things in the windows, like a ghost and other creatures. Seeing these things doesn’t scare me, it makes me curious, and it makes me want to go inside to see what is in there.” At hearing this, the townspeople started to whisper amongst themselves. Quincy the park manager said, “I’ve been up there, and I don’t see anything that is dangerous about Hilltop or Hilltop house. It is merely an old abandoned house on a hill with ample space to play.”
At hearing Quincy’s words, FiFi was happy, as she loved playing on the Hilltop House grounds. The people of the town started to whisper amongst themselves again. Clara, the town clerk decided that all the whispering was enough, and she took it upon herself to quiet everyone down. Once, everyone, was quiet Clara said, “I have seen things up at Hilltop House too.” This came as a surprise to everyone. Clara was only the second adult to come forward about seeing things. Everyone upon hearing this was more curious than anything. Not too many people ventured up to Hilltop because of rumors that there was non-human folk that takes residence in Hilltop House.
After much discussion, it was decided that FiFi, June, and Addie would be able to go inside the house on Hilltop and report what they found. Upon hearing this FiFi said, “I’m really excited to finally go into the house that I’ve been curious about for the longest time. I’m not even scared or anything.” FiFi, June, and Addie made a plan of when they would go, they decided it would be best to go when there weren’t too many kids playing on Hilltop, it was the most popular area to play in Fallhaven because of the mystery surrounding it.
It was the Saturday after the town meeting, it was rainy so kids wouldn’t be playing at Hilltop. While the kids couldn’t play at Hilltop because of the rain, and rain created mud, they found something else to do. Jacob, Bobby, Molly, Edward, Keenan, and Noah decided that they wanted to go to the library, and that is what they did. Dorothy, Edgar, Margo, Joseph and Mona, who are June, Keenan, and Noah’s parents decided to go to the library as well and use one of the conference rooms to have a parents meeting, and discuss what to do about the kids playing around Hilltop and Hilltop House depending on what was discovered.