#StoryTime 11

story-time

Before I share the most recent addition to the short story that I am writing, I am going to explain what Story Time is to my recent followers.  One weekend I was looking through all my old school things and came across a story that I had written when I was eight years old and in second grade.  I decided that I wanted to re-write it.  The most recent addition to the re-write will always be at the bottom.

This is the original story:
Once upon a time, there was a haunted house and 10 doors and 10 steps in the first door there was a werewolf.  In the second door, there was a mummy.  In the third door, Dracula popped out.  In the fourth door, bats flew out.  In the fifth door, there were ghosts that popped out and said “BOO.” In the sixth door, there was an alien with six eyes.  In the seventh door, there was a goblin.  In the eighth door, there was a witch and she popped out.  In the ninth door, there was a skeleton.  In the tenth door, a friendly zombie popped out.

This is the rewrite:

Once upon a time, in a deep, dark wood, at the top of a hill, there stood a house.  The house was aptly named Hilltop House.  The house was very old, and it was impossible to see what color it is because of all the vines that have overtaken it.  And because of all the vines, all that could be seen was only portions of the windows, there was enough window showing that you could see in, but just barely.  Now, don’t go thinking the house wasn’t in a town because it was.  The house was in a town called Fallhaven.

Fallhaven was home to 25 known people, it is rumored that non-human folk lives in Hilltop House.  Fallhaven had your typical town folk.  It had a Mayor, Elias and his wife Eliana, two policemen, Brutus, who was the chief and Connor, there was May, the librarian, Malva the schoolteacher, Quincy, the park manager, Clara, the town clerk, who handled business for the town folk, Raymond, the mailman, Jonny, the store clerk, and Whitman, the gas station man
To be continued…

FiFi Whitmire, a seven-year-old with brown skin, claimed to have seen something strange going on in Hilltop House.  FiFi lived with her mother Dorothy, her father, Edgar and her two twin brothers Jacob and Bobby who were 9.  Hilltop House could be seen from the third-floor reading nook of the Whitmire house.  The Whitmire’s neighbor Margo had two grandchildren, Molly and Edward who FiFi, Bobby, and Jacob played with often.  The children would always seem to venture to Hilltop House, though they never dared to go in.  It was during these ventures that FiFi would notice the strange things happening.  The other children never saw anything, and when FiFi would mention the things that she was seeing, they all seemed to scoff and tell her “it’s all in your head.”  FiFi knew that it wasn’t all in her head.

When it was time for the children to go home, which was when the street lights got turned on, FiFi didn’t go home.  FiFi went to see Addie for some tea and cookies, the other neighbor of the Whitmire’s, she also had brown skin like the Whitmire’s.  Addie was 25 and like an older sister to FiFi.  FiFi said to Addie, “I’ve seen strange things happening at Hilltop House, and the other’s think I’m crazy.” Addie told her, “You’re not crazy, I’ve seen strange things too.” This was reassuring to FiFi, as she wasn’t the only one who thought something strange was going on.  It was getting late, and Addie said to FiFi, “I’ll walk you home, and we can tell your parents what has been going on.” “Okay,” FiFi said.
To be continued…
When Addie and FiFi got back to the Whitmire residence, Fifi said to her mother and father, “I have seen strange things going on at Hilltop House, Addie has too.”  “Is this true?” asked Dorothy.  FiFi and Addie both said at the, “yes, it is true.”  Dorothy and Edgar looked very puzzled.
To be continued…

Edgar and Dorothy thought about what to do before Edgar had to go to work.  They decided that it would be best to keep what FiFi and Addie told them a secret for the time being.  This was decided when the children were at school.  It was also decided that the children could still play around Hilltop House.  When the children got home from school, Dorothy Asked, “What did you learn today?” FiFi answered, “ Malva taught us some simple multiplication and she also told us a story about how Hilltop House is haunted.”
To be continued…

Bobby, Jacob, Molly, and Edward all said “Hilltop House is not haunted,” Dorothy looked at them with a very puzzled look on her face.  She could not wait until Edgar got home to tell him what his sons and friends had said.  Edgar works at the little town market in town helping out Jonny for a few hours on the days that Dorothy isn’t working at the library along with May.  Someone is always home with the children.
To be continued…

When Edgar arrived home, Dorothy told him what the kids had learned at school and then said to him, “Malva told the children a story that Hilltop House is haunted.”  Edgar asked what the children said.  Dorothy said to him, “FiFi told me about school, Bobby, Jacob, Molly and Edward said, “Hilltop House is not haunted.””  Edgar remembered what FiFi and Addie had told him about seeing strange things.
To be continued…

Edgar decided that it was time to tell others in the town what FiFi and Addie told him and Dorothy, and he said to Dorothy, “I want to tell others about what FiFi and Addie said about Hilltop House,” Dorothy said, “I’ll have to think about it, it is still a somewhat touchy subject, seeing as the other kids have called FiFi crazy.”  Edgar agreed that they would wait a while before they told others, they also came to the conclusion that they would have to talk to the other kids about not calling FiFi crazy anymore.
To Be Continued…

The next day, which was a Tuesday Edgar and Dorothy sat FiFi, the twins, Molly and Edward down after they all got home from school.  Dorothy and Edgar decided to take the day off from work to discuss the best way to approach the children about the situation.  Dorothy and Edgar said to the twins, Molly and Edward “you need to stop calling FiFi crazy, and telling her that it’s all in her head.  FiFi isn’t the only one who has seen strange things going on at Hilltop House.” The twins, Molly and Edward looked at Edgar and Dorothy and said in unison, “what?!” Dorothy and Edgar replied, “yup, there is someone else who has seen the same strange things that FiFi has seen, our neighbor, Addie.”  The kids, excluding FiFi, all looked confused.  They all apologized to FiFi saying, “we’re sorry, and we won’t call you crazy again, but how come only you and Addie can see strange things?” FiFi said, “I don’t know, maybe there are others in town, or maybe Addie and I have some special magical abilities that we don’t know about.”

To be continued…

Wednesday at school, after avoiding her for a while, FiFi decided to tell June, her best friend what was going on.  June said, “I’ve actually seen strange things going on around Hilltop House too, you and Addie aren’t the only ones.” This made FiFi feel a little better about the whole thing.  FiFi started thinking if she, Addie and June were the only ones, or if there were others.   FiFi got home from school and both Dorothy and Edgar were home, she said to them “I want to tell the townspeople what has been going on.  I told June today and she told me that she has seen things too.  I want to know if there are others.”  Dorothy and Edgar looked at their daughter and took in what she said.  They’ve been thinking about telling the other townspeople for a while but were waiting for the right time.  FiFi’s words when she got home from school, that she wanted to tell the townspeople, they knew that it was the right time.  Before the townspeople were told, Dorothy and Edgar had to decide when they were going to have Elias and Eliana over for dinner to let them know what FiFi had told them and what she wanted to do.  Dorothy said to Edgar, “It appears that FiFi is wise beyond her years, and I think she should tell the townspeople and not us.”

To be continued…

Dorothy called Elias, the mayor and invited him and his wife Eliana over for dinner Friday night and of course, they accepted.  She didn’t tell him or Eliana why, though.  Dorothy said to FiFi “Elias and Eliana are coming over for dinner Friday night, and I know you want to tell the townspeople what has been going on.”  FiFi had an excited look on her face, yet she was still a little apprehensive.

To be continued…

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